[it's too late to say you're sorry] - a cassie maddox fanmix (dublin murder squad)

[ninety6tears]

As with Rob's mix, this has a fuzzy near-general focus, though with the predictable Cassie&Rob bias going on.

FYI: "The Promise" is a more polished-sounding version of the theme used in "The Sacrifice," which I chose to use here because the roughness of it makes me imagine Rafe irritably banging away on the piano (and I suppose because the title happens to be so fitting).

+ZiP+


"'I've got good psychopath sensors now. It's like an allergy: you get exposed once, from then on you're super-sensitized...I dream he's the guy we're after, but we can't prove it, and when he finds out I'm on the case, he...Well. He does his thing.'"

(1) Loss (Elbow)

He must be six feet tall
And I’d recognize his footsteps anywhere
He used to throw me round the room
Roads lead to roads
lead to roads, he won’t leave me alone
Loss took human form

+


"...I should have seen this coming, but somehow I had been so caught by the dazzling absoluteness of the job that I had managed to miss the most obvious thing about it: you spend your day lying. I don't like lying, don't like doing it and don't like people who do it, and to me it seemed deeply fucked-up to go after the truth by turning yourself into a liar...The Murder god chose my best friend and my honesty, and gave me nothing in exchange."

(2) 10 A.M. Automatic (The Black Keys)

You’ve got pains
Like an addict
10 A.M. automatic
I see darkness cover us
And your car kicks up dust
What about my ways makes you doubt
All these words from my mouth

+


"...When I say it wasn't like that, they give me careful sideways looks and change the subject—I get the feeling Frank thinks I have some creepy variant of Stockholm syndrome. That does happen to undercovers sometimes, but not this time. I'm not trying to protect anyone; there's no one left to protect. Lexie and the others will never know they're taking the blame and wouldn't care if they did. But give me more credit than that. Someone else may have dealt the hand, but I picked it up off the table, I played every card, and I had my reasons."

(3) Anyone's Ghost (The National)

to live underwater
for more than a month
you said it was not inside my heart, it was
you said it should tear a kid apart, it does
didn't want to be your ghost
didn't want to be anyone's ghost
but I don't want anybody else

+


(4) "This is Lexie Madison's story, not mine" (excerpt - narrated by Heather O'Neill)

+


"...Some nights, if I'm sleeping on my own, I still dream about Whitethorn House. In the dream it's always spring, cool fine light with a late-afternoon haze...The house is always empty."

(5) Always Summer (Terry Davies)

[instrumental]

+


"...Five years earlier, one year earlier, I would have been leaping for this dazzling incomparable adventure...I'd have been in there checking whether the dead girl's ears were pierced and how she parted her hair. I looked out at the fields and thought, very distinctly and detachedly, What the fuck has happened to me?"

(6) To Be Free (Emiliana Torrini)

It shouldn't hurt me to be free
It's what I really need
To pull myself together
But if it's so good being free
Would you mind telling me
Why I don't know what to do with myself

+


"I tried to tell him about undercover. I told him how your senses are never quite the same again, how colors turn fierce enough to brand you and the air tastes bright and jagged as that clear liqueur filled with tiny flakes of gold; how the way you walk changes, your balance turns fine and taut as a surfer's, when you spend every second on the shifting edge of a fast risky wave. I told him how afterwards I never shared a spliff with my mates or took E in a club again, because no high could ever compare. I told him how damn good at it I was, a natural, better than I'll be at DV in a million years."

(7) Don't Sit Down 'Cause I've Moved Your Chair (Arctic Monkeys)

Bite the lightning
And tell me how it tastes
Kung fu fighting on your roller skates
Do the macarena in the devil’s lair
But just don’t sit down cause I’ve moved your chair

+


"I wanted Rob, dammit. I had never let myself think that before, not one time in all the months since we'd stopped talking, no matter how tired I was or how late at night it was. At first I wanted to kick his ass so badly it was doing my head in, I was throwing things at my wall on a regular basis. So I stopped thinking about him altogether. But the squad room all round me, and the four of them peering intently as if I were some exotic forensic exhibit, and those photos so close to my cheek I could feel them; the acid-trip feeling I'd had all week was swelling into a wild, dizzying wave and I hurt, somewhere under my breastbone."

(8) The Line (Black Rebel Motorcycle Club)

You put your head between your hands
And understand nothing it adds
I feel the answers keep you scared
I've put the harm inside myself.
I am the line
I hold you near
There is no burden left to bear
I can't see clear

+


"'Take what you want and pay for it, says God...I don't believe in God,' Daniel said, 'but that principle seems, to me, to have a divinity of its own; a kind of blazing purity. What could possibly be simpler, or more crucial? You can have anything you want, as long as you accept that there is a price and you will have to pay it."

(9) The Sacrifice (Michael Nyman)

[instrumental]

+


"I used to have a partner...We were like you guys: we matched. People talked about us like you do about twins, like we were one person: 'That's MaddoxandRyan's case, get MaddoxandRyan to do it...' If anyone had asked me, I'd have said this was it: the two of us, for the rest of our careers, we'd retire on the same day so neither of us would ever have to work with anyone else and the squad would give us one gold watch between us. I didn't think about any of that at the time, mind. I just took it for granted. I couldn't imagine anything else."

(10) I Never Knew You From the Sun (The Innocence Mission)

What a time it was.
I was befriended and was a friend
for the longest while. You were here,
and I never knew you from the sun.
Snow is on the ground
but this is not my landscape now,
where I find myself without you.

+


"I hadn't cried in months, not for Rob, not for my lost life in Murder, but I cried then. I pressed the sleeve of my sweater over my mouth and bawled my eyes out, for Lexie in every one of her changing faces, for the baby whose face no one would ever see, for Abby spinning on moonlit grass and Daniel smiling as he watched her, for Rafe's expert hands on the piano and Justin kissing my forehead, for what I had done to them and what I was about to do, for a million lost things; for the wild speed of that car, how mercilessly fast it was taking us where we were going."

(11) Blinding (Florence and the Machine)

A tourist in the waking world, never quite awake
No kiss, no gentle word could wake me from this slumber
Until I realized that it was you who held me under
Felt it in my fist, in my feet, in the hollows of my eyelids
Shaking through my skull, through my spine and down through my ribs
No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone
No more calling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden
No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world

+


"There's so little mercy in this world. Lexie sliced straight through everyone who got between her and the door, people she had laughed with, worked with, laid down with. Daniel, who loved her like his blood, sat beside her and watched her die, sooner than allow a siege on his spellbound castle...Rob, my partner, my shieldmate, my closest friend, ripped me away and threw me out of his life because he wanted me to sleep with him and I did it."

(12) Little Earthquakes (Tori Amos)

We laughed in the faces of kings
Never afraid to burn
And I hate and i hate
Disintegration
Watching us wither
Black winged roses that safely changed their color
Here we go again
These little earthquakes
Doesn't take much to rip us into pieces

+


(13) "If I learned one thing..." (excerpt)

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"It was that night with the headlights, that night I went to get Rob at the crime scene. I knew him well enough to know that otherwise he would disintegrate, just smash into a million pieces, but not well enough to guess that he would do it anyway..."

(14) Beautiful Calm Driving (Sia)

Beautiful calm driving, emotional hiding
Effortlessly shining, beautiful calm driving
You turned into another
You turned into a nutter
You turned into another man
You're a stranger to me
You're a danger to me

+


"'What the hell do you know about it? You never even met Lexie. I don't give a flying fuck if she was going under a fake name, if she was a dozen different people in a dozen different places. I knew her. I lived with her. That wasn't fake...'

'That's not what I mean,' I said. 'I just don't think she ever wanted to hurt you, any of you. It wasn't like that.'

After a moment the air went out of her. Her spine sagged. 'That's what you said that day. That you—she—just panicked. Because of the baby.'

'I believed that,' I said. 'I still do.'"

(15) About Her (Malcolm McLaren)

How many people cried
But it's too late to say you're sorry
How would I know?
Why should I care?
Please don't bother trying to find her
She's not there

+


"I wanted to tell her that being loved is a talent too, that it takes as much guts and as much work as loving; that some people, for whatever reason, never learn the knack."

(16) Peter Pan (Patty Griffin)

I'll think of you all painted with the night
You sit and watch from somewhere
As one by one the lights go out
I wrote a note to tell you how you matter
When the rain came down
All the letters scattered
And washed away
Drifted off to Never
Where you'll be safe from me now forever

+


(17) "Time works so hard for us..." (excerpt)

+


"This is the one thing I hope: that she never stopped."

(18) Dreams of a Journey (Michael Nyman)

[instrumental]

+

+ZiP+




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Comments

[cosetteferaud.livejournal.com]

Yay, a Cassie fanmix, the songs look awesome! (and omg, the title you chose, lol). I’ll come back later, once I’ve listened to it at least a couple of times.

(Btw, I love that you used that pic of Noomi for the cover).

[aniloratka.livejournal.com]

thank you :)