![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ninety6tearsSHIT, I am harcore itching to write, but I don't have TIME aaggghhh.
The last time I had a conference with my fiction teacher I kept reminding myself of that part in Almost Famous when the kid's all like, "Yes. I mean yeah. I mean yes" or what he does he say, I don't even remember. The first thing the professor asked me was, "Do you want to be a writer?" and every time he asks me a question like that I go, "Sure. I mean yes. Not sure. Yes."
I don't find myself comfortable talking about writing the way that nursing majors can talk about the guy with the broken penis who came into the hospital where they worked over the summer or whatever. I always feel like any conversational commentary I have to make about it would come out very arty and self-important, like saying, "This is how I think you should approach this aspect of fiction" automatically equates you with looking like you think you're better at it than the next person, when that's really not what it's about. I don't want to come off as this snivelly thing that thinks they have a certain perspective on one kind of art, though when you think about, I'm completely wasting my time if I don't.
Honestly, this is my biggest rational fear and I think probably should be everyone's: that passion does not equate with talent. I'd rather be ignorant of such an embarassing inconsistency for my entire life. I can't imagine much of anything worse. Every objectivity and peace of mind I have in maintaining a moderate self-image just flies out the window in this line of thinking.
The last time I had a conference with my fiction teacher I kept reminding myself of that part in Almost Famous when the kid's all like, "Yes. I mean yeah. I mean yes" or what he does he say, I don't even remember. The first thing the professor asked me was, "Do you want to be a writer?" and every time he asks me a question like that I go, "Sure. I mean yes. Not sure. Yes."
I don't find myself comfortable talking about writing the way that nursing majors can talk about the guy with the broken penis who came into the hospital where they worked over the summer or whatever. I always feel like any conversational commentary I have to make about it would come out very arty and self-important, like saying, "This is how I think you should approach this aspect of fiction" automatically equates you with looking like you think you're better at it than the next person, when that's really not what it's about. I don't want to come off as this snivelly thing that thinks they have a certain perspective on one kind of art, though when you think about, I'm completely wasting my time if I don't.
Honestly, this is my biggest rational fear and I think probably should be everyone's: that passion does not equate with talent. I'd rather be ignorant of such an embarassing inconsistency for my entire life. I can't imagine much of anything worse. Every objectivity and peace of mind I have in maintaining a moderate self-image just flies out the window in this line of thinking.
